Good Morning Christmas

OH MY GOSH HOW MANY MORE MOVIES CAN I WATCH. For real. I just want to catch up on the Mandalorian but there’s NO TIME. So now I’ve got to tell you about this stupid movie. It was okay, alright? My husband decided to watch this with me and I felt bad because there are much better ones I could have forced him to sit through. Let’s just get on with it, shall we?

Brian and Melissa are talk show hosts. Their show is called “Bright and Merry” because that is their last names. So that worked out well for a daytime talk show name. We see their show. Melissa says she wishes for the perfect Christmas date. Is that right? Brian must have been a former NFL star. Brian says he wants to just be on a beach. Brian didn’t grow up with any Christmas traditions. The viewers also need to nominate their favorite town for…something. Brian went off the teleprompter for their show. Mel is quite huffy about that. But Brian says they’re better without it.

Their producer calls them into a closed door meeting. I NEVER learn her name. The network has decided to grant Brian’s request to be let out of his contract. They are constantly complaining about each other I guess. Though I’m not sure specifically why Brian wants out. Mel’s mad that Brian sprung that on her. Well, duh.

Mel calls to complain to her sister Kate. Brian overhears but kind of laughs it off. Brian’s girlfriend waits for him in the lobby. THEY TOTALLY WORK TOGETHER. FOR SURE.

Mel and her sister wrap presents at home. She complains about Brian AGAIN.

The next day, the producer tells them they’ll be in Mistletoe, Maine for an ENTIRE WEEK. They’re ending the week with a primetime show announcing that it’s the last show.

The whole town is there to greet them when they arrive. They are staying at a CUTE INN. Their car parks like three blocks away though. The mayor’s wife, Jenny, runs the Inn. I love the Inn. There’s a Christmas tree about every three feet. Their set is going to be in the barn. THEIR NAMES are on their doors. OMG they each have FULL Christmas trees and fireplaces in their rooms. So So jealous.

Melissa creeps in front of Brian’s door and he sneaks up behind her. The grudgingly agree to go to dinner together that night. They take pictures with fans in the restaurant. They talk about their different opinions about why their show is number one in the country. She does tons of prep and he essentially thinks they have good chemistry on screen and do well off script. Mel gets out her computer to watch tapes of potential cohosts right while they’re eating. That’s not rude. Mel’s sister sent her a funny video. Brian can’t get over the fact that Mel actually bakes! And also how rude she is being right now.

The next morning, it’s show time. They have to wear ugly sweaters and Brian is not happy about it. A young go getter named Tyler shows up with coffee for the producer. He is a huge fan and wants to be a producer. Apparently that is all it takes to get a job on this show so he’s HIRED.

The show starts. Brian decides to go OFF SCRIPT again. He takes the opportunity to joke complain about the ugly sweaters. They run through all the activities in Mistletoe and then Mel accidentally says they will be taping the very last show on Christmas Eve. Brian covers for her. Later, their producer tells them they have to participate in the gingerbread making contest instead of judging. Brian eats some of the gross candy. They work like a nice team. Allison was a baker last year, after all. Also, YOU CAN’T RACE GINGERBREAD CONSTRUCTION. The frosting has to set for a certain amount of time!!

Later, Mel asks if he has another show lined up. Mel thinks his life is SO EASY. Brian has seemingly done it all. Full ride football scholarship, 12 years in the NFL, the Bachelor and now this talk show. Apparently he got rejected on the Bachelor though so it wasn’t all fun and games. He asks Mel why she doesn’t have anyone special in her life. PRETTY PERSONAL PAL.

Later, Mel facetimes with her sister. She says she and Brian got along that day. But Mel doesn’t want to beg him to stay on the show. She is afraid of losing their ratings when he leaves and MAYBE MORE. Okay there are TWO trees in Mel’s room. Lexi from the diner stops by and brings her some food. She comes into her room and watches her eat. Also, she just MADE this for Mel…it’s not like from the diner. So none of this is creepy. Lexi hasn’t yet worked up the courage to talk to the diner owners about working in the kitchen. Mel is super nice to her. NICER THAN I WOULD BE, THAT’S FOR SURE.

The Deputy mayor/bell man from the Inn, Jake or James, offers to take Mel around town the next day. Then Mel and Brian take tons of photos with fans. Mel is kind of hurt he went and got food with out her last night. She’s like, you could have told me you didn’t want to eat dinner with me. I feel like what he did was better. Just not make a thing out of it? Does he have to tell her everything he’s doing? Was she waiting all night for him to tell her he was grabbing food to go? For heaven’s sake Mel. You don’t even like him. OR DO YOU?

Anyway, it’s show time. They read the teleprompter and learn they are participating in the three legged wreath race. ALL KINDS of surprises for these two.

So then they do the race. They are doing well but then inexplicably fall into a snowbank. Mel says his whole life is falling into soft snowbanks. But she doesn’t know his LYFE, okay?!

Later, Lexi brings Mel some cupcakes to sample. Brian shows up and asks to rehearse the next day’s show. Then Jake(James?) shows up to show Mel around the Christmas Fair. She already rehearsed SO BYE.

Mel and James chat and walk around the Christmas Fair. He tells her about the town tradition about hanging Christmas wishes on the tree. Brian watches them creepily and texts Mel that their producer is looking for her. She sees it and then has to go abruptly. Brian plays it off as a prank but she’s like, were you watching me with Jake, I mean James? So what is HE UP TO?

That night at the tree lighting, the producer tells them the ratings are BETTER THAN EVER because those stats come in like instantly every day. Also, Mel really needs to find a new cohost and look over the draft announcement. Mel and Brian get up on stage and say a few words before the tree is lit. It is…UNDERWHELMING. And TINY.

They practice the next show that night at the lodge because Brian is starting to take his job seriously. Mel accidentally admits that she watched his season of the Bachelor. Brian says he could have been more of a team player and she says she might be too bossy. YEP. Then she abruptly decides to decorate the lobby tree. Brian is like, you really love all this silly Christmas stuff. And Brian is afraid of putting ornaments in the wrong spot. They’re having a GREAT TIME. But what about Jake, I mean James! In a different movie, she would be dating James and staying in Mistletoe. Just wait James! In a town like Mistletoe, you’re bound to have your Hallmark movie love. They are all having a lovely time and then CHRISTY, Brian’s girlfriend, shows up. Mel basically BOLTS from the room.

Jenny and Mel chat later. Jenny says Christy is not staying there. Too much Christmas for ol Christy. Jenny says she has even MORE Christmas stuff in storage and invites Mel to look. She shows Mel an old carriage. Jenny wished to date Stan, her husband (and current mayor), and marry him and it worked. Mel says she’s always dreamed of the perfect Christmas DATE. Mel…that is just…so SAD. Right? I mean just a Christmas themed date? That’s what you want? Oh geez.

Brian overhears Stan and Jenny talking about the carriage. Brian wants to get it running again and use it. But SSSHHH. It’s a secret.

The next day, Mel is out skating ahead of their call time. Brian has NEVER ice skated in his life. For some reason I missed, they both have to wear ridiculous hats while they skate. Brian walks like a new baby bird on the ice. Despite needing to use every ounce of concentration on staying upright, Brian finds a moment to share some information about his childhood to explain why he doesn’t care much about Christmas. It’s unbearably sad. Mel is uncomfortable. WE ALL ARE. Anyway, now Brian just gets GIFT CARDS for his friends. The worst right? Jake/James stops by to tell them a pipe burst somewhere and all the kids’ Christmas presents are RUINED.

Christy shows up with coffee. Brian invites her to skate. She’s like, ew, no.

After the ice skating segment, the nameless producer says Mel needs to decide her top three co host choices ASAP. Choosing a new cohost falls squarely on Mel’s shoulders. I’m SURE that’s how it would be in real life. Lexi invites them to decorate stockings later. Mel gives Brian an out for the activity…kind of. Then Mel tells Brian she’s glad he told her some of his story. She says he should make some new memories for Christmas because it’s worth it. So then he decides to go to the stocking party.

That night everyone is at the stocking party. Lexi and Tyler have a MOMENT. I’ve never decorated a stocking. It sounds better than making gingerbread houses. Lexi and Mel talk about how the right person might be right in front of you and you don’t even know it. YOU DON’T SAY. Then Mel decides to help Brian with his stocking. Brian’s stocking is bad. Mel wants to bet that she can fix his stocking and win the prize. Wait, if Mel wins, Brian has to dance a “Christmas Carol” dance? What? How can he even agree to that? Brian says the one Christmas gift he got was a football so that is what’s on his stocking. But he just remembers loving to play catch with his dad. CHRISTY shows up. Brian is an hour late to meet her. Christy wants to talk privately. She has NEWS. She got them their OWN REALITY SHOW. Oh boy. I would love to watch that train wreck. Brian is more interested in realizing his stocking won the prize.

Outside, Christy tells Brian about the reality show. They are already talking about a SECOND SEASON before they’ve even filmed the first season. Christy just chatters away and Brian looks over and sees Mel laughing away with Jake/James.

Later, Brian and Stan work on the carriage. Brian tells Stan his perspective is changing.

The next day, Mel and Brian have to wear Hawaiian shirts. Then Brian admits the shirts are all his idea. UH OH. Problem. The teleprompters are down. Mel says she’s fine because she has her notes and Brian is like, I have Mel so I’m good! They open by saying they need gifts because all their charity gifts were damaged because of that burst pipe. Then Mel says he’s the best co host she’s ever worked with! But she won the bet last night so she didn’t have to say that. SHE WANTED TO OKAY?!

Later, Mel reads some stuff on the internet. Lexi stops by with muffins. Mel takes a picture of the muffins maybe to help her promote them? I’m not sure. I’m not paying attention to that story line. Lexi sees the slideshow of Mel and Brian ice skating. Lexi thinks they make a good couple.

In Brian’s room, Brian is singing Christmas carols. So he’s in a good mood.

The next morning, Mel is lounging downstairs in the lobby with a blanket. Just making herself at home in the common area of this hotel. Brian is wandering around in a Santa hat for some reason. Brian says Christy is busy closing a deal. Brian has a surprise for Mel. Brian gets them all set up to make cookies because she won’t get to make them with her sister this year. And he even made a baking playlist. Oh good, they’re going to hand mix the butter and the sugar. That’s the way to do it. Mel admits she’s struggling to find a cohost. Also, let’s talk about why she’s single. He doesn’t get it. Then Mel talks about how she got started with her job and why she prepares so much for each show. He says he is more impressed with her now than before. THIS IS A MOMENT.

Later, Mel talks to her sister and tells her what happened. Kate is like YOU LIKE HIM. Mel is like maybe I do, okay? Later, Brian says he was up all night last night making a list. It is a list of all the things he’d never done in his life before this week. It’s all Christmas stuff. SO THAT IS SAD. And now Brian wants to shop for actual Christmas presents instead of getting gift cards. I would LOVE A GIFT CARD OKAY. Then their producer approaches and says they have been doing a great job. Now Mel and Brian have to make a wish for the tree. The producer wishes that they don’t make a mistake they’ll regret for the rest of their life. Well that’s intense. Nothing for herself?

Later, Christy approaches Mel. She wants to make sure that Mel is okay since Brian is leaving Mel’s show to go do Christy’s reality show. She tells Mel what it will be about. Seriously CAN’T WAIT for that show. Later, Brian and Christy talk. Christy has the contracts for them to sign. She is like, maybe you don’t want this show? Brian is like, obviously not. This sounds ridiculous. She says she’s okay with him changing his mind. She has a back up plan. I didn’t see that coming. They were PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER.

Later, the next day? who knows; they do more of their show. Brian tells Mel he came by her room the night before but she didn’t answer. She doesn’t want to get coffee later either. SHE JUST NEEDS TO FOCUS on…STUFF okay? She does NOT want him to explain himself or anything.

Santa drives through town in an old fashioned red truck with all the donated toys. Silent night plays. Brian chases after Mel to talk to her. Mel already knows! MEL JUST SHUT UP. Brian keeps trying to explain but she doesn’t want to hear it. IDIOT. Mel talks to her sister and she’s like yeah I didn’t let Brian talk. Kate is like WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? Go like be an adult and actually have a conversation with him.

Later, Lexi tells Mel the diner is going to use her recipes. Cool. I don’t care. When Mel gets back to the Inn, she looks for Brian. But Jenny hands her a card. She is supposed to wait outside the Inn at 8pm. Oh no, James shows up. He wants to take her out to eat. She JUST misses Brian with flowers. THERE IS NOT ENOUGH TIME LEFT FOR THIS TO BE RESOLVED.

James and Mel walk and talk. Mel admits that Brian is leaving. Mel realizes that the note was from Brian not James. Mel runs back to is room and tries to knock on his door. No answer. THESE GUYS. Where did he go?

It’s Christmas Eve. Mel talks to her sister, Kate. She didn’t catch Brian the night before. Kate encourages her to try again. She should at least give him his present. Mel tries to run off to find Brian again. She knocks on his hotel door. No luck AGAIN. The producer asks the sound guy to turn on Mel and Brian’s microphones. So that is like a TOTAL INVASION OF PRIVACY.

Brian is out with the carriage. Brian asks how Stan knew Jenny was the one? Stan says Jenny has been driving him crazy since the day he met her. SO SWEET…? Stan suggests he tell Mel how he feels. The crew secretly films Mel and Brian. Not creepy. Not totally messed up in every way. All of a sudden Tyler is working on the show? They go live to Mel and sitting on the steps with her gift. Okay this is MESSED UP. Just filming these guys without their knowledge?

Then Brian shows up in a horse drawn carriage. They both apologize. What is he apologizing for though? Brian is like SHUT IT me first. He says there is no show and he regrets wanting to leave the show. Oh and he and Christy broke up, did you hear? They give their speeches to each other. Who cares. I don’t pay attention. But she couldn’t find another co host because they weren’t BRIAN. He very awkwardly picks her up and puts her in the carriage. I don’t like it. NO ONE SHOULD BE PICKING EACH OTHER UP. And then they kiss and they hear cheers. They are not absolutely ENRAGED like I would be. I guess that’s SHOWBIZ, BABY. Her gift to him is her wish? They both wish for Bright and Merry to continue. And they kiss again. And then they go on a carriage ride. And that’s it!

This one was fine. So far this week, these movies have just been forgettable Hallmark movies. So I am shruggy guy emoji on this week of movies so far. We are halfway through though, so that’s all I care about. Let’s rank it on the ol Checklist: Total score: 6/20.

  1. Workaholic (?) too busy for Christmas
  2. Christmas Festival
  3. Christmas Tree Lighting
  4. Christmas Baking
  5. Winter Athletics
  6. Nonsense drama

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