Two Turtle Doves

Two Turtle Doves premiered on November 1 on Hallmark Movies and Mysteries. We have NO time to waste.
Our lead, Sharon, who is surprisingly not an elderly woman, is on the phone with her cousin. They will meet in Town Square instead of inside someone’s home whenever Sharon arrives for the holidays.

Before she leaves, she has a meeting with her mentor. In this meeting, we learn that Sharon is a neuroscientist and is up for a pretty major award. The mentor’s office is, surprisingly decorated to the max for Christmas. Is it even worth mentioning at this point? Yes, because it is giving us all ideas and reminding us that whatever we’re doing in our own homes is NOT ENOUGH.

So, I’m really excited that the lead is a neuroscientist. Good job Hallmark. We learn that this will be her first time going home since her grandma’s funeral. Oh no. It may be hard to make jokes about this one.

Alright, Sharon is in town square. But where is her (pregnant) cousin? Oh, she went home but didn’t tell her. But since she’s already out, would she mind getting some cookies and a jar of mayo? I try not to throw up. These cousins seem to be having a really hard time. They were very close to their grandma. And she raised Sharon! I am settling in for this one.

On her way into the bakery, Sharon is stopped by another woman. Did Sharon know they named the counseling center after her Grandma Vera? After all she founded it. Two more scientist women show up and are asking Sharon about her peer reviewed research and an article in Psychology Today. Hallmark, I tip my cap to you for this film. And yes, I’m calling it a film now.

And then all the ladies whip their phones out to show Sharon their eligible male relatives and I remember where I am. She is rescued by a nice looking young man who conveniently happens to be the attorney for her grandma’s estate. He was also her neighbor for six years but Sharon has never met him. His name is Sam. I am just so on board for this movie at this point I can hardly stand it. Sam is like, can we talk about the Will? And maybe more? Sharon is like, let’s just start with the Will alright?

She makes it to her cousin’s house and her husband asks, do you think you can talk from ”Frankincense” into your cousin? And I’m actually not embarrassed for him at all and am just so glad he’s here. The two cousins head to the Grandma’s house. They have a nice moment outside. Inside there are open boxes strewn about. Did they attempt to decorate for Christmas and then abandoned that effort at some point? Well, whatever the case, they waste no time decorating the house. Well, Sharon wastes no time. The cousin sits on the couch. She’s pregnant okay? Chill.

Sharon is talking about the grant she’s up for and I’m taking notes while she decorates. They find the box for the “12 Days of Christmas” Ornaments. The box will include…hey! Two Turtle Doves! That’s the name of this movie. Well, now Sharon has to leave. That seems like a big waste of time. She head’s to Sam’s office to discuss the will. He has a super adorable plate of cookies on his desk. Don’t mind if I do, says Sharon. She immediately shrinks down to three inches tall. She takes another bite and is back to normal size. Sam is a widower and has a daughter named Mikayla. And we learn that Grandma Vera was Mikayla’s counselor. Vera has set up a sort of complex requirement that I’m not sure is legally enforceable. Sam plays a recording so Vera can explain it. Sam gives her some privacy.

The recording starts and Sharon smiles and tears up but I DEFINITELY DON’T OKAY. She has to do 12 Christmas traditions that coincide with the 12 days of Christmas. Then, she can decide if she wants to keep or sell the house. Come on, Vera. Also, I’m definitely going to do something like that to my family. Sharon mulls over the offer while lying on the floor in her cousin’s house. The cousin is like, I kind of want to just wallow so I’m not doing any of that stuff. Sharon is like, maybe I can make all of this positive instead of really sad. The cousin is like, I’m good.

Back at Vera’s, Sharon decides that right before sunset is a good time to start putting up the outside lights. Sam’s house is visible from space. He comes out and is like, maybe you should do that tomorrow.Sharon is up and at em in the morning, painfully trying to hang lights. Alex, Sam’s brother, sees her and runs out to help. It turns out that Alex helps Vera with her lights every year. High five, Vera! It turns out this whole little family was kind of adopted by Vera. Mikayla helped her decorate the inside. They decide the whole gang needs to go get a tree. The tree lot has a sign that says all trees are $15 and I laugh and laugh. Clearly no one at Hallmark has ever bought a Christmas tree. Sam and Sharon get to know each other. Sam shares that he doesn’t believe in naps. Sharon is aghast. But I agree with Sam. I do very much believe in naps for children though. Especially mine.

Back at home, Mikayla offers to help decorate. Sam is like, really it’s okay if you don’t want her to. And Sharon is like no that would be lovely. And then Sam says, well, nothing fills up an empty house like an enthusiastic ten year old and I DO NOT START CRYING. Mikayla is also super great at decorating and when do you learn this stuff? Could I hang ornaments from my wall under garland like this? They dive into Sharon’s family history and Sam gives an age appropriate note to Mikayla about marriage. They actually open the Twelve Ornaments of Christmas box and the Two Turtle Doves ornament is MISSING!

The next morning, Sam and Mikayla stop by and Mikayla has MADE Sharon a two turtle doves ornament and I am not getting emotional about that at all. Sharon heads to Vera’s office to look for the real ornament. She copes by moving an insanely heavy Santa out in the yard. Sam asks, isn’t this list supposed to bring you joy? And Sharon says, no this is about MAKING MEMORIES through gritted teeth. Sharon is a little annoyed that Sam doesn’t have strong preferences about Christmas things. She then accuses the young widower of being a Scrooge. He explains that the first year after his wife (Jenny) died, he went all out for Christmas for Mikayla. Like Hallmark movie level. He was so happy to have something to celebrate. But then doing all of that without Jenny made him so sad. BUT NOT ME. Meanwhile, Sharon is going to make memories with this gd Santa and his reindeer if it kills her.

Alright, we are at the Christmas Tree lighting. The missing ornament might be on the town tree. Alex is crushing it as a wingman. Sharon is really struggling and Sam shares about his life. He talks about Jenny and Christmas and how she just lit up the room and NO ONE IS CRYING while he tells this story. Then Mikayla walks up to the stage and asks the whole town to look for her friend, Dr. Sharon’s ornament. It’s fine. I’m FINE.
The next day, Mikayla asks Sharon to go bake cookies with Mrs. Ethel. She is like yeah cool, will your dad be there? And Mikayla is like no this is just girl time. And Sam is like, well I could stop by…Mikayla is like, dad cool it.
The gals are having a lovely time baking with Mrs. Ethel. Her kitchen is idyllic. I wish I was invited.

Sharon and Mikayla both say they like snickerdoodles as Christmas cookies but, since when are those Christmas cookies? Oh, Mikayla also likes her mom’s sugar cookies but she can’t quite remember what they taste like. HONESTLY. Whew. I am okay. The girls have a lovely moment talking about losing their moms at a young age. Ethel brings out some special lemon cake. If it were me, I would be super bummed out about a holiday tradition involving lemon cake. Sam shows up and offes to get dinner for everyone! He’s just happy to be here. Ethel mentions that Patsy might know about the ornament so Sharon and Sam go together. The teamwork of this town is unparalleled.

Sharon tells Sam about the McAdams fellowship and he knows about it and is intimidated. She is torn about what to do. In general, they have a really lovely conversation on their walk. It seems like maybe Sam has already been in a Hallmark movie and has learned a lot of lessons. Sharon asks, What happens when Mikayla goes to college? Sam says, oh, she’ll never be that old. He is just too cute. Sharon shares more about how great her Grandma is and I am just HERE for all of this.

No luck at Patsy’s with the ornament. She thinks maybe Vera loaned it to a local artist to recreate another one that was missing. The gang has a lovely dinner and Patsy won’t let them pay. Mikayla invites Sharon to the pageant and she pinky promises to attend. Nothing in her way, right? Sharon makes a really awful joke about Ten Pipers Piping. And I am actually not mad about it because Mikayla is embarrassed enough for all of us. Sharon crosses two more days off her list.

The next day, Sharon is caroling at the hospital. After the caroling, while Sharon is still wearing her Santa hat, she and Sam have another really lovely conversation about grief. Sharon just puts it all out there that she wouldn’t have gotten through all this if she wasn’t making new memories with him! And I’m like, dang girl. Slow down. We still have 45 minutes left.
Sharon is hanging out at Sam’s again and Mikayla is telling her about all their ornaments. Sharon asks the question I’ve been dying to know-who actually put up all these decorations? She shows Sharon her collection of 37 Santas and then brushes off Sam’s comment about teddy bears. Then Mikayla says she and her mom used to make Muddy Buddies! Sharon has never heard of that?! Oh Sharon. You have no idea. Mikayla comes back with…HONEY NUT CHEX! Okay, she is the MVP of this film.

Oh no. She doesn’t want to make them because it will make her too sad but I am definitely not crying right now so let’s make some muddy buddies, okay?!! She thought she was the only one who felt sad. Okay. I don’t know that I can continue at this point. Sharon plays wingman for Sam for his daughter and I can’t keep it together. They have a just..beautiful conversation about grief and Christmas. Sharon reminds them that all traditions start somewhere and Sam shouts out all kinds of ideas, including making a wreath. Mikayla perks up and goes to get her coat. Sam stands up and says, I don’t know how to make a wreath!! And he and Sharon laugh cry. For real, I might not make it. Then he asks, did you mean what you said about making Christmas new? She says, not until I said it. YOU GUYS.

Oh yay! A Christmas wreath making montage. They have a fabulous time with way too many supplies and Mikayla bangs out an absolutely professional looking wreath. Mikayla are you selling those also, or…? No, I’ll just get one later. Alright, well, Sharon’s got to get home to have a sad little Christmas movie marathon all by herself in that big old empty house. Sam and Mikayla find that incredibly pathetic and invite her to watch them at their house.Mikayla and Alex work as a TEAM to get Sam and Sharon to sit together. They all fall asleep and Sam is in heaven. Is he going to find a nice person for Alex next? He is working his butt off over here.

The next morning, Sharon asks if Mikayla can go ice skating that night. She’s having a sleepover…but SAM IS FREE. Maybe they can go to dinner first? I LITERALLY almost cannot continue at this point. But I do.
Sharon and her cousin have a really lovely heart to heart where the cousin gives insanely great advice. Sharon doesn’t want to choose between her job and all the loveliness here. We learn the fellowship interview was moved up… to two days from now!

Sharon and Sam are having a lovely date. They make some lawyer jokes that are almost too painful for me to bear. They have a colossal wipeout on the ice skating rink and just laugh and laugh. Sharon actually tells Sam all about the interview and they have an honest conversation about their feelings and expectations. I check to make sure this is actually a Hallmark movie and not up for an Academy Award. They’re about to kiss but I know it’s not going to happen because it never happens until the very end of the movie. He is having a hard time because I don’t think he’s dated since his wife so he doesn’t want to just be casual. She tells him she just doesn’t know yet and they part ways. He changes his mind and turns around but she’s gone. I’m heartbroken. These idiots.

Sharon goes to her interview and wonders if she’s doing the right thing with Sam. She crushes her interview and gets the fellowship! Alex and Sam talk and Alex tells Sam he needs to make room in his life for love or something like that. It results in him literally giving away most of Jenny’s stuff. Whatever it takes, man. But, while sorting out the stuff, they find THE TWO TURTLE DOVES ornament!!! Vera had given it to Jenny to use as a model to make the partridge in a pear tree ornament! OMG.

Aright, it’s pageant time. Will Sharon make it? I feel like she probably won’t because why would she fly back from her interview? Poor Mikayla is scouring the audience. She MAKES IT! Yay.

Sam and Sharon have a great conversation after the pageant. But, she tells him she got the fellowship and is going to live there for a year. And then will decide if she will sell the house. Is that enough for Sam? I’m yelling NO at him but he can’t hear me. He is fine with it. He probably knows she’ll stay after that. Maybe by then they’ll be married and she’ll just move in with him. So that’s it! This was by far one of the best Hallmark movies I’ve ever seen.

Let’s see how it scores on the checklist.

  • 1. I’m counting Sam here.
  • 4. Single parent
  • 7. Christmas pageant
  • 10. Christmas Tree Lighting
  • 11.Christmas Baking
  • 12. Christmas Athletics
  • 14.Christmas Puns
  • 19. Sassy and Wise friend
  • 20. Christmas montage
  • Total score: 9/20.

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